rock connection

nehru topis

2006-08-10T19:40:00.000+04:00

The Investitures! Shocking it actually happened. Even more shockin, I was in it. Ha Ha
It was pretty fun really, played dog and the bone after AGES ... sang 'namak isq ka', Omkara, Beedi....you get the drift. Im so sleepy now tho. Oh look who just came online? ah someone dull I never chat with....ever wonder why people dont just delete those non-con worthe people?
Ah went off on another tangent. So yeah the nehru topis. Hah quite liked the whole outfit really.
Hey anyone heard of the cult(ural) club? heres an equation-
(5 she doggies) X 1 million = the bitchin that goes on there
No seriously! Some of my friends (kinki of the kinkism school, aditi hero)were telling me of some plans that are hatched that would make the guys in Ocean's 11 look like amateurs.

Oh yeah about those Nehru topis. Hey did ya know if ya wear em sideways, you look like those slutty nurses? An most of the guys lookes like ... fishermen. hehe
How long was that speech the guy in the end gave? Holy mother of god, even my parents were driftin in and outta consciousness.
Good thing i never heard a word. Oi Ima put the snaps on me blog soon yaay...

So yeah about those Nehru topis..................?
Oh look theres dinner.
Adios you great ppl who read my blog.

Rain

2006-08-07T11:29:00.000+04:00

Airborne.The city lights. You smell the ocean. And the fish.
reach the 2 roomed home, smiles and more smiles. Cake from mom. Snaps to show, things to give. Darkness and sleep.
Morning. Sun comes in through the window. Smell of omlettes. Ice shower and moist damp clothes. Shopping. Friends, so many friends and family. Lunch. Terrible order. 4 people on a double date. laugher, taking their trip so bad.
Club. Low music. Lounge. Celebrity. The sound of a beer bottle being opened. The smoky haze. The smell. Cool between your fingers. The taste. Celebrity. cute guy. whispers. giggling. side looks. oooh, the girlfriend. whisky - wanna sip? where did the beer go? Vodka it is then.
chutia rich guy. 'ladki, paise, patte, chicago, new york, london.'
Whoa. Lifted up. crazy friends. Bartop? look down, all eyes looking up. Music. Move. Sway. Walk Run dance. Always dance. Shots..tequila? oooh, she fell- nice catch boy. Time to get down.
Bathroom. Bitchin. 'Guys are jerks'. 'Love your dress'. 'Stupid whore.'
Music. Music. Pounding. Ears. Dance. Wanna sip? crazy friends
Leave. 3 cars. Park. Waiters. Outdoors. Oh no. Ohh no. This is not good. Beer. Whisky. Vodka. Tequila. Dumbass.
Hard road, on knees. Some one holding hair back. Someone giving water. Its ok, its ok. Friends, when you need them. Let it out, let it out. Its comin. vomit. Finally. Thank you. Water. Water. Food. Smiles. Laughs. Radio. Home? why? lets go out again!
Bed. Fall. Sleep.
Morning. The taste. In your mouth. Toothpaste someone.
Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Movie. Another movie. Rain. So much Fuckin Rain.
Flight. delayed. smiles. another day. Dunbass.
Next day, rain. floods. floods. stranded. Flight? who knows.

Back To School !

2006-07-10T18:17:00.000+04:00

I never thought I would say this , but I cant wait for school to start....teachers reminding us about the boards (as if we could Ever forget?!) new haircuts, new piercings, new gossip, new couples, old couples, oh and wats that hot new thing? ah- 'open(ahem) relationships' ....i mean wouldn't you just rather label yourself- 'desperate for love and attention but dont wanna scare away the boys'? LmFao. Not that there's anything wrong with just having fun without any strings attached but do you have to call it that??
And then there are scandals, monday tests, bad food, hot guys *chokes on laughter* , friends bitches yada yada yada
Did not go today for obvious reasons...too depressed about france losing and Zidane just...what a way to go down. Oh well.
-Cleo (lol)

Just Keep Running

I stare at this blank page
empty, yet so full of the things
I cant quite put into words
I search the forgotten corners of my mind
I flip through these torn pages.
Something happened, everything changed
I am surrounded by people trying to run faster
I want to stand still in this crowd.
Somehow, somewhere I lost myself
in the wreckage that they left behind.
I search listlessly, in these shambles
for something, anything
that reminds me of home.
The sweet stench of luxury fades
As I walk away with nothing
But a sad smile and another dream.

Been a while eh?

2006-06-11T20:29:00.001+04:00

Things that I must someday (in the not so forseeable future) ACCEPT.

~Exams start first day of school
~If you feel like ur tryin to hold ur puke in, tell someone- and i mean before it all comes out on the day ur supposed to leave for your school trip
~If you switch off your phone, sleep for 14 hours in a day, watch reruns of sienfeld for 6 and whinge about how bored you are for the rest of the day- Ur a fuckin idiot.
~Sometimes picking up your phone and dialing the number is all it takes.
~Sometimes u swallow your pride, beg, plead and apologise and its still not enough
~I will always order the worst thing on the menu. And then i will eat everyone else's food.
~I will always regret the things I missed out on, all the stupid choices I 've mAde this summer, the fact that I chose familiar ground over unchartered territory.
~ And then I will bang my head against a wall, forever cursing myself for my stupidity- all the while missing out on whatever I did choose.
~ Its hard making plans with ALLL your friends ('But i dont have any transport, why cant we go to the hall close to my house, but I wont really know anyone, I have nothing to weeeeeeeeaaaarrrr') but if it does happen- Its absolutely worth the trouble.
~I'll never understand why women are so crazy about shoes.
~ One day the low rise will be out, But i will not absolutely not wear those jeans that reach your bust like those I find in my moms school snaps.
~ Im the laziest fart on the planet.
~There will never be abother FRIENDS episode, and the Joey show can suck my *** *** (ur tryin to figure out what this is aren't ya?)
~ I hate Jane Austen, Ive read 2 of her books- I plan to keep it that way.
~ No matter how shitty my life gets, I will always derive immense pleasure when i talk to someone whose life is shittier. And then I will feel bad about it.
~Mothers will scream, siblings will piss you off, teachers will never seem quite human and women will always bitch about other women.
~I will never be interested any thing/guy/career/big chill desert for more than 3? no 4 months.
~ I will never find that One Thing that Im unbelievably great at.

PHEWW!
Dayum, sure have missed blogging. Oh and by the way, If I ever accept any of the above and become a better person - shoot me.

Playlist ll

2006-04-23T18:38:00.000+04:00

Passive - A perfect circle
~I catch a brief reflectionOf what you could and might have beenIt's your right and your abilityTo become my perfect enemy~

~So Cold - Breaking Benjamin
You're so cold, but you feel alive, Wise men wonder while Strong men die~

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson
~I keep playing your partBut its not my sceneWont this plot not twist?I've had enough mystery.Keep building me up, then shooting me down~

Gangster Moderne - McSolaar
Uhh, Its french rap....

Unravel - Something Corporate

Punk Rock Princess- " "
~If you could be my punk rock princess, I would be your garage band king. You could tell me why you just dont fit in, And how you're gonna be something~ (lmao, I love this song!)

Criminal - Fiona Apple
~and it's a sad , sad worldwhen a girl will break a boy just because she can..~

*We used to be friends* - The Dandy Warhols
It's something I said, or someone I know. Or you called me up, maybe I wasn't home. But a long time ago, we used to be fiends, i havnt thought of you lately at all ~ (ahh...my favourite OC song )

What we do - Kray twins feat Twista & Lethal B

Landing in London - 3 Doors down
~LA's gettin kinda crazy, New York's gettin kinda cold...~

Maybe Im amazed - Jem

Hallelujah- I dont know
(Odd kinda track, like it tho)

Times a wastin' - Jaoquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon

2006-04-19T18:27:00.000+04:00

I turned around
And the world changed
I heard the sound of something break
The raindrops, they fell slower
The traffic lights were always red
The sky seemed to be getting lower
Am i crazy? Is it all in my head?

Images burnt my memories
Those surreal times now haunted me
Crept into my thoughts, my dreams
Taunting, screaming- what could have been

But time moved on and so did I
Sometimes, even the cold subsides
I look into my empty eyes
I laugh, I'm just frozen inside

I leave roses on the grave
I sit and watch the petals fade
The wind carries away the leaves
I'm waiting for it to carry me

I turned around
And the world changed
Or was it me?
I cant escape...

Update

2006-03-25T19:33:00.000+04:00

Holi was goood fun, park near Paruls house, eggs coke sprite mud spit ...u get the idea

Screw the boards party was even better...Gasolina, dip, crazy dipsites, spin the bottle

12th is as same as 11th , yet different somehow...but stillas much fun.

Wonder when everyones gonna start wearing the new uniform? Kinda lookin forward to seeing everyone lookin like shrubs.

Result was pretty good. Feel like such a loser, who does well in 11th anyway? lol

Have the worst music in my computer right now, anyone know of any good new stuff please bata do.

So summer's coming, sun sand surfing and hot guys in swimsuits. Some one remind me I dont live in Orange County...Welcome to the Delhi bitch! (sorry, a lil addicted will be annoyingly quoting from Oc now)

So thats pretty much it........

ciao

Playlist

2006-02-26T23:56:00.000+04:00

Some songs that have been stuck in my head lately

she shook me all night long- ACDC
Cryin - Aerosmith
Alive - Pearl Jam
Are we the waiting- Greenday
Brilliant disguise- springstein (So sick of it but cant stop)
Closer Psych Mix- NIN
the scientist - Coldplay
Galvanize- chemical brothers
Half the man i used to be - Nirvana
Sessions - Linkin Park
ALL RDB SONGS !! ashfaqullah still on top of hot guys list (coming out soon)
Party starter - Will smith (did u see him at the awards>killer
Pink floyd - comfortably numb
Smooth - Rob thomas
Gasolina- danceworx present favourite ;)
Take me away - Lifehouse
This moment is eternity - Nightwish
Ludacris ft Sum41 - Get Back and Get low
Wish you were here- Pink floyd

Im sooooooooo bored, im sik of doin stats, eco sux, psycho makes me wanna puke, history i havnt touched-dont wanna, Pol science is greek and english - who studies for that any way

I think im gonna make a terrible movies list, or maybe a hot guys list, or how bout best ice cream flavours------i have reached a million feet in the height of boredom.....................

And another absurd controversy....

2006-02-11T12:31:00.000+04:00

This post is (shockingly) about the whole Muslim cartoons controversy. And yes, I do read the papers (after I've updated my blog, found nothing good on T.V, called everyone on my phone ki contacts list, eaten everything left in the fridge, slept, cleaned my room(!) .......and still found nothing to do....)
For anyone who doesn't quite know the whole facts, here's a quick update

~30 September 2005: Jyllands-Posten (A DANISH daily) publishes 'offensive' drawings of the prophet Mohammed.
~November-December 2005: A delegation of Danish Muslims travels to the Middle East to conduct meetings with religious leaders.
~29 December 2005: The foreign ministers of the League of Arab States criticize the Danish prime minister for his handling of the situation.
~10 January: Norwegian newspaper `Magazinet' publishes the drawings.
~26 January: Trade boycott of Danish goods begins in Saudi-Arabia.
~29 January: Libya closes its embassy in Denmark.
~In an interview with al-Jazeera, Jyllands-Posten's culture editor expresses regret that the drawings printed in the newspaper unwittingly offended practising Muslims. This expression is not translated into Arabic.
~30 January: Jyllands-Posten's editor-in-chief publishes a statement on the internet in Danish, English, and Arabic and apologises for the offence the drawings have caused, but not the publishing of the drawing themselves, as this is not in conflict with either Danish law or the ethics of the Danish press.
~The dispute spread sto London. More than 500 people, led by the extremist group al-Ghuraba, marched to the Danish embassy with banners calling on Muslims to "massacre" those who insult Islam and chanting: "Britain, you will pay, 7/7 on its way."
~Pakistan's parliament unanimously passed a resolution yesterday criticising the newspapers publishing the cartoons for conducting a "vicious, outrageous and provocative campaign".
~Today a New Zealand newspaper, the Dominion Post, became the first in that country to publish the cartoons. Its editor, Tim Pankhurst, said: "We do not want to be deliberately provocative, but neither should we allow ourselves to be intimidated."
~Thick smoke billowed late Friday from the building housing the Danish consulate, which was attacked and partially burned last Saturday by rioters protesting the publication of the Prophet Mohammed's caricatures.
The cartoons themselves-One of the prophet depicted as Osama Bin Laden, with a time bomb instead of a turban, another with the Pakistani flag on the prophet's face with the star in place of one eye (trying to show a black eye) ...The others I cant seem to find.
(keep on reading you lazy fart bart simpsons...I wanna know what your view is!!)

Next are some posts from people everywhere, the former critisizing and the latter justifying the cartoons printed by the danish daily.

Hesham A Hassaballa (A mid western Muslim)
What was it about these caricatures that infuriated many Muslims worldwide so ?I think it’s more than--as many media outlets are reporting--the Islamic tradition that forbids the caricature of God or any of the prophets.But it is the grossly negative caricature in the Danish cartoons that has sparked the intensity of this furor.The cartoons depict the Prophet Muhammad to be a blood-thirsty brigand, a knife-wielding Bedouin, an inhuman terrorist. These depictions are so offensive because the Prophet holds such a special place in the hearts of every Muslim on earth. So I love and revere the Prophet, and to see him maligned and attacked in such an insensitive and repulsive way causes a pain in my heart that I simply cannot bear.These caricatures of the Prophet is akin to publishing a cartoon of Jesus Christ as a Catholic priest being dragged away in handcuffs for sexually abusing a young boy. Christ is wholly innocent of the crimes committed by a minority of Catholic priests against young boys. If such a cartoon were to ever be published, I would be shocked, angered, and deeply offended.The same goes for the Prophet Muhammad. He has nothing to do with the terrorist monsters who kill in the name of Islam. It is completely inappropriate to equate him with them.

Posted bt cc-
In my opinion, what makes these cartoons so offensive is the association ignorantly made between the Prophet and terrorism. How many times does it need to be said that ISLAM DOES NOT PROMOTE VIOLENCE. Those who claim to be killing on behalf of Islam and the Prophet ARE NOT PRACTISING ISLAM. Ignorant people need to stop categorizing all muslims as unstable, murderous savages. I agree that there are groups of supposed muslims who need to learn "decency" but this does not apply to true Islam and the majority of people who practice this religion peacefully and responsibly.
Posted by cc

And the latter....
By TCQ-
In the US, the government provided grant money to an artist (Maplethorpe) who put a crucifix in a bottle of urine. When people became offended, they were pretty much told by the press to shut-up. When Billy Joel sang about Catholic girls and people got upset, the press again pretty much told the people to shut-up. I somewhat agreed with the press; however, now the press pretty much says, "ohhh we must be sensitive". Double standards you have set oh holy Washington Post.

BY W-(in an email to editor of the danish newspaper)

Various Islamic clerics demand your newspaper "show respect" for Islam; I observe that "respect" provided "on demand" is empty. If Allah is worthy of respect, he will not mind a little infidel humor. If, on the other hand, respect for Allah must be compelled by believers threatening bombs, then perhaps these believers are a bit shaky in their own respect? No...?
God, in various disguises, appears regularly in American political cartoons. Why, just the other day, in several cartoons, God was busy explaining that the American loony Pat Roberts did not speak for him .In America, without political cartoons to keep us from taking it all too seriously, we couldn't get from day-to-day. I do hope you continue helping all your readers, fidels and infidels, to make it from day-to-day without taking it all too seriously.
Anyway, Courage... A laugh is better than a prayer...W .

Right Ok then, What do You think?

Gemma's guide to the Dipsite Galaxy

2006-02-03T21:04:00.000+04:00

It took me 3 years, an idiot and a talent show to finally feel like a dipsite.
I remember when I first joined this school, 9 th grade, I was thinking wtf where the hell am i? Who are these alien freaks who look like they are in an all white detergent ki add? I missed my blue-grey uniform, I missed knowing everyone in my 3000 students school, I missed ppl knowing me, I missed my friends, I missed the the canteen being called a tuck shop I missed everything, I even missed my teachers. I missed I complained I fought I sulked there was so much drama, lmao.
2 years went by, I met people who redefine the words wild, crazy fun, fearless. I still missed my old friends, but I met them often enough so it was all good. This one day, one o those annoying aunties tells me ‘ur studying in DPS RKP right? U must be very happy to be a dipsite’ I scowled at her and gave her the what-are-you-from-Mars stare. Dipsite n me? Huh I may be in the skool, but Dipsite? That just sounds soo lame.
11th grade. Each of us in a diff section. Each of us bringin a whole new breed of screw dheela people- my friends expanded, there were us humaniacs from R & W, commercies from V and Sciencies from the supah ability.
Everyday, was spent screechin kajra re and later ‘ek baar aaja aaja aaja’ in the Oat, walking into the class with chow mein/taka tak, bits and pieces all stickin to us, stealin empty classroom’s keys from office and jumpin outta its window onto the water cooler, paying attention in pol sci wonderin what this new feeling gwas (later I realized it was the foreign feeling of enjoyin a subject lol)
Then the talent show happened, there are no words to describe how unbelievable those couple of weeks were. Stressed out teachers, bunking kids, last minute read thrus, our show cancelled then uncancelled, dancing on Sessions by Lp, feeling like CHICKS IN BLACK on the final day, then completely rocking the show. It was all over, I had a weird feeling, I couldn’t understand wat it was at that time.
About a week back…..I was walkin in Gk right afta school, I was in my unifrom, I bumped into sum girl, she gave me one of those what-are-u-blind stares and mumbles to her friend ‘stupid Dipsite’.
I smiled. And then I laughed. She thought I was crazy. I am crazy. If that doesn’t make me a dipsite I don’t know what does! Me . A dipsite. Hell yeah. How slow am I? It took me 3 years , an idiot and talent show. Now its almost senior year-I guess its true what they say (iv always wondered who the hell is they??) You don’t know what uv got till its gone.I don’t want school to end. Even tho college is supposed to be awesome yet what do you break when there are no rules???

A million Fuckin Pieces.

2006-01-29T19:59:00.001+04:00

WARNING- freakisly abusive, explicit, annoying-as-shit content

Hes a fraud. Hes a liar. Hes fukin fiction.
James frikkin frey.
(if u hav no clue who im talkin about refer to the post A million little pieces before u think im bitchin bout my ex or summin_)
Interview on oprah. Hes admitted his lies.
It was exaggerated . fabricated. read 'Lies'. A million fuckin lies.
Sorry about this post guys ..im just venting here.
Im such an idiot. To all u guys who read the book bcoz I couldn’t stop talking barking about it, I am so sorry.
I feel so completely duped. I no ur thinking like wat the hell its just a book , so its not real, read it like any other piece of fiction. Like a novel. YOU read it . and tell me that it had no impact on you, nothing nothing nothing at all. That u dint have fukin nightmares about the whole dentist widout anasthaesia part. That u didn’t feel urself getting pissed at the shit that he did, sorry for the things he didn’t, horrified at lily…….if u didn’t than yeah sure dude go ahead read it like a novel, have a blast.
To james -if u ever visit my blog- get the f*** off my blog. (thot the f*** were getting a bit much so …lol as if the stars help)
U no wat, hes just an average guy with an average addiction with an average ability to conquer it with an unbelievable knack of making it all sound surreally real.
Ok I feel so much bettah. Heres some stuff quoted from his interview avec oprah winfrey, since iv written the most annoying post possible, cant really make it worse with the interview.
Ps- lol iv never over reacted so much!

James: [The Smoking Gun was] right about that. I was in [jail] for a few hours.
Oprah: Not 87 days?
James: Correct.
Oprah: Was there a Lilly?
James: Absolutely. Absolutely.
Oprah: Was your description of how she died true?
James: She committed suicide, yes.
Oprah: She hung herself?
James: I mean, that was one of the details I altered about her.
Oprah: Okay. And why?
James: Because all the way through the book I altered details about every single one of the characters to render them unidentifiable.
Oprah: So how did she die?
James: She cut her wrists.
Oprah: Hanging is more dramatic than cutting your wrists? Is that why you chose hanging?
Oprah: Why did you lie? Why did you have to lie about the time you spent in jail? Why did you do that?
James:
I think one of the coping mechanisms I developed was sort of this image of myself that was greater, probably, than—not probably—that was greater than what I actually was. In order to get through the experience of the addiction, I thought of myself as being tougher than I was and badder than I was—and it helped me cope. When I was writing the book … instead of being as introspective as I should have been, I clung to that image.
Oprah: And did you cling to that image because that's how you wanted to see yourself? Or did you cling to that image because that would make a better book?
James: Probably both.

So what was true about the dentist and what wasn't? You did go to the dentist?
James: Absolutely.
Oprah: You went to the dentist. What's true about the dentist?
James: I mean, I went to the dentist. I had my front four teeth repaired …as I remember it.Oprah:
With Novocain?James:
I honestly have no idea.

gemma- no idea. lovely. stellar. ok it definately got worse...heres the link to the whole thing...honestly tho that guy aint worth ur time.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200601/20060126/slide_20060126_350_102.jhtml

Chicks & Blokes ...........!

2006-01-10T21:58:00.000+04:00

Alot of you have probably read this, since it is a forwarded email...but hey i thought i would post it anyway.
WARNING - In the Dictionary open to 'C' and you will find the word cheesy...that is exactly wat this entry is! But all ya girls who luv chick flicks, and all you guys who deny it...read on!

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
12. The way her hand always finds yours
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say 'I miss u'
24. The way you miss them
25. regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the everyday absurdities of theirs. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.
Ok Ok before some of you throw up (or burst into tears depending on who u are heh heh)i was wondering...wat about the other side? Why do girls like guys? Any ideas? HahA this shud be funny (if anyone comments tht is...hmphh)

Add Ons

2006-01-07T20:33:00.000+04:00

hey guys check out the add ons right at the end...cast ur vote...and also does anyone know how i can put that stuff on the right sidebar instead of at the end? Thanks

A million little pieces

2006-01-05T03:15:00.000+04:00

People who read - this entry is for you
People who wanna start reading - dont start with this book, everything else will seem completely shit compared to it (YES EVEN HARRY POTTER)
People who dont read and dont wanna- dont read my entry it will bore u senseless and also.....wat r u crazee?? wat kinda imbecile doesnt read?!?

A Million Little Pieces
James Frey

My Friend Leonard ( the sequel )
James Frey

One of those books that you cry about for hours, laugh about for weeks, obsess about for months, think about for as long and remember forever.

These Are Both True Life Stories About The Life Of James Frey.

(heres wats written on the cover of my friend leonard)
The story of an extraordinary friendship formed in the most unlikely of circumstances. When James Frey first meets leonard in the Rehabilitation Centre so powerfully described in A Million Little Pieces, they are both recovering drug addicts. Despite their highly unreliable track record, their shared grit and humour spark a mutual admiration which quickly transforms into firm loyalty.
Leonard himself is charasmatic and contradictory, at once a magnetic father figure and a shady mafia boss. When he leaves Rehab it is to return to this dubious yet prosperous life in the criminal underworld of Las Vegas. In contrast, when James leaves the centre, his world seems set to implode. Unsure where to turn James calls Leonard and he answers. Paradoxically , it is in the bizarre setting of Leonard's underworld that James discovers the courage and humanity needed to rebuild his life.

Ok so heres my version of it ( stop yawning im just gettin started!! )
A million little pieces
Its about this guy who's been drinkin and using drugs since the age of 12. He's hooked onto pot, crack, coke, pills, meth, cheap wine, you name it he's used it, until things get so bad that he lands up in a rehabilitation centre with a hole in his cheek and no front teeth at the age of 23.
He describles his life in Rehab as awesome and awful at the same time. He doesnt follow the steps his instructors tell him to, he say screw 'the 12 steps' 'group sessions' with people blaming their addiction on everything and everyone but themselves. He wants to stay sober, but he wants to do it his way- by saying no and holding on when the temptation is about to drive u to hell and back. The instructors tell him their way is the only way- he proves them wrong. At the centre he finds some semblance of sanity, normalcy, friendship , laughter and most significantly- love.
The ending is so horribly earth fuckin shattering, i thought i was gonna throw up.

My Friend Leopold
It deals with his life in the real world- his struggle to say sober, stay sane, to breath, to move, to be around people, to laugh , to kill the fury , to stay alive, to live.
He survives because of his friends, their support, Leonard and most importantly because for the first time ever he feels that life is worth living.
Since he did everything in a drunk, stoned, pissed, screwed up way, he has to unlearn everything, relearn everything in order to go on.

Warning: this book is explicit- If you're one of those people who get grossed out by burping, farting, rats, snakes, lizards and slums, you might wanna skip the part in which he gets his teeth extracted w/o anasthaesia, when he removes 42 stitches, when he burns himself in the shower everyday.
If you are one of those people who freak out coz of dirt, flies, puppies, kittens, sleeping alone, getting 29 .5 outta 30 in math, This book is NOT for you.

If by some crazy coincidence, James Frey or anyone who knows him comes across my blog (crazier things have happened) i wanna say a few things ( Im mad i know)

To James : Im glad you can look into your eyes again, no one should be that deep down. If
everything you have written about your life is even half true, you are the most incredibly strong and brave person i have ever not met.

To Lilly : I still dont understand why you did what you did, i cant fathom why you would do it at the time when everything was about to get better, i cant respect it, you were my favourite, i thought you were stronger than that, i will never forget what you said-
"a second of freedom is worth more than a lifetime of bondage" I hope you found it for a lot longer than a second.

To Courtney (i think thats wat her name was) and allison :
YOUR LOSS!!

To Snapper: You are just way too cool for words!!

To Maya : you must be very special and seriously cool, if ya catch my drift! Im really happy for you guys, i like a happy ending ( actually i wouldnt call it exactly that since i cried for the next 2 hours but oh well)

To leonard: What can i say about someone like you?
You will always be on my mind and in my heart, when i think of all the things you did, it will make me smile and make me cry- i'll never be able to forget ya,thats for sure.

MORAL OF THE ENTRY- go buy the books and read them! Comment on my blog if you read
them or buy them or plan to buy them or have something to say or have nothing to say or have something to do or have nothing to do.....so yeah just Comment!!!

AUZZZZZZZZZIEEEE!!

2006-01-03T18:04:00.000+04:00

I. am. gonna. study. in. Sydney Uni. Period.
I dont care wat my parents say...i'll convince em! I have completely fallen in love. truly.
with sydney. (as in the city not the guy lol)
The Ocean, the beaches, the tiny restaurants along Darling Harbour, transport thru amazing ferries instead of the crappy metro, The people. Holy crap the people. All sorts, every sort from every possible city in every possible country. The ones strumming their guitars and singing better than the american idols along circular quey, the oH so cool chinkis, blue haired punks, body pierced stoners, Geeky looking indians ( cmon guys, the pink tie linen trousers black overcoat combined with golden hair and body piercing??- not the best look), the beach bums, the pencil thin blondes, the surfers. Now thats wat really convinced me to wanna study there. The Surfers. You might be laughin now but i promise ya ul choke on yer laughter if you see these guys. Tanned- wearing nothin but swimmin trunks and sun glasses, so carefree, just riding the waves. Wat a life.
ok ok so ima shut up now. haha maybe not.
New Years was in serious style. Some person owned an apartment on the 20th floor of a high rise and we guys saw the most amazing fireworks on the Sydney Bridge and Harbour from all the way up there, wat a view. (so wat if all the guests there were all ..err...above 40 years of age lol) there were some 20 lak people on the harbour and they were all so completely HAMMERED! it was soo funny sum1 chick wud just cum up to us n start singin 'happy merry christmas new in the dont cha wala song ki tune'.................................
ps- if anyones interested in the best shoppin ever like all brands fcuk polo abercrombie n all go to bangkok --u get em fr sum 300 barts or barths (same as ruppee) and theyre actually real not fake. not hard to guess i shopped for 8 str8 hours!
ciao
gemma]

Cliched Resolutions

2005-12-21T21:26:00.000+04:00

Yup its that time of year. December. If you ask me i hate this month. I prefer November. It reminds me of Guns and Roses. Or May,the beginning of summer,holidays, swimsuits, ugly school uniform, ice cream. Or even August- meloncholy autumn, dried brown leaves flying around, the smell of winter and the remnants of summer.
But December- now this month just plain sucks.you wanna know why? OK i will tell you why. Coz its the end. The end of another insignificant year that quite honestly wasnt all that different from the previous year or the year before it. The month when i realize i havent completed any of my new year 'resolutions', havnt even attempted them, hell i dont even remember what they were!
So here i am, vaguely annoyed and seriously confused.
You know that feeling you get when some teacher is giving you some lecture and something they say strikes a nerve?""Do you have any idea about what you are going to do with your life? Dont you have any hopes ambitions dreams?""(and they drone on and on while you practice the skill of sleepin with your eyes open)
Or when you get a seriosly crappy monday test paper?
Or when your friends are discussing Exactly what their plans are in minute detail and you wonder if they've made itineraries of their life with post- its on them.
January to November- these 11 months- i'm able to push these useless insecurities behind the facade of movies, music, friends and parties. But December ughhhh they come flooding back. And i wonder What have i done this year?
Have i won some kickass sports tournament?
Have i taken part in that heated Eco debate?
Did i atlast learn how to play the guitar so i could be in my school band?
Did i go for the exchange trip to France?
Did i do something i was shit scared of but went ahead anyway?
Did i have that one crazy wild amazing will-never-forget moment/day/holiday so i wont draw a blank when the slam book says happiest memory?
And i get my answer in bold,red,times new roman,size 50 font - NO.
But you wanna know a secret? This year- 2005- class 11 - has been one hell of a crazy ride. i've done things i could never even dream of before. Times when i cried so hard i thought i would choke on my tears (my friends in science tell me that not biologically possible heh heh), times when i felt so lucky that i had the world's best friends, times when i thought i was so alone and times when i laughed so hard that i couldnt breathe and everytime i tried to stop i would see my friends's red face spitting maggi all over the kitchen floor of a small Bombay apartment that i will never see again and neither will i forget the times i had there.
I've had experiences that i will always remember (Nmr's if u guys are reading this u no exactly wat im talkin bout heh heh), met people that i will never forget and made memories that will always make me laugh and cry at the same time.And all because i made a very different New Year resolution last year. i promised my self that in December 2005 i will not feel vaguely annoyed and seriously confused when i look back on the last 11 months. And for the first time in my entire life, my new year resolution has become a reality.
All because i took a chance.
And then another. And then another till opportunities were knockin on my windows so hard i had to wear earplugs! Its the best feeling. Taking chances that is. Like swimming in a hard current without a life jacket. Or diving from a cliff into an ocean without any strings attached. So this December im vaguely nostalgic and seriouly, deliriously happy.
So here's wishing all of you people an amazing Christmas and and even better cliched resolutions New Year!!!!!!!

Nothing Else Matters

2005-12-16T22:21:00.000+04:00

I try to hold my head up high
as if pretending its a lie
will make it go away

Cant get myself to move, I try to breathe
try to pretend that i dont see
those eyes that haunt me in my dreams

People i never even knew existed
now claim to know my deepest, darkest secrets

I try to hold my ground, keep still, stand tall
but amidst the viciousness that surrounds me, I fall
rumours of bored imaginations, spreading
like an epidemic that crawls
I wish thats what they truly were
so it could kill them all

I dont need their approval, I dont ask for their sympathy
let them feel alive by feeding on my life
drop by drop, let them drink all thats left of me

Tomorrow, my dreams can shatter
for all i care and thats the truth
nothing else would matter
If just for today, i could have you

Gemma

Just another day in school...

2005-11-21T12:11:00.000+04:00

0700...alarm rings *snooze*

0705...alarm rings *snooze*

0710...alarm rings *mom screams at me to get up*

0715...i get up (brush, change, breakfast, get out)

0730...back upstairs as have forgotten bag

0750...reach school..guy at gate writes down my name

0800...goswami shimmies towards us shoutin "get to your class u good for nothing

vagabonds!"

Period 1... History *sleeeeeeeeeps*

Period 2...Economics-get up (after weird dream where Goswami is instructor in ashley lobo and is instructing Raghvan on the technicalities of yeah u guessed it shimmyin) write some notes

Period 3 P.E! YAAAAY! sports complex.basketball.football ground-friends n i watch the guys playin footie and wonder how it is logically possible that none of them are even close to hot.

BREAK

Eat everyones food. Go buy food. Eat that as well. they should really do something about those stale noodles and sloppy kathis...oh well...

Period 4...Pol Sci- taught by zeenat amaan lookalike (the old version) like class. open mouth and mind to voluntarily participate in discussion

Period 5...History- teacher compares ashwariya and sushmita. Discusses scool parties.Enjoys Listenin to us crib bout other teachers. tells us where she got her sari. laughs at this idiotic guys lame ass jokes. and yes the history book remains unopened. oh yeah i like this class too!

Period 6... Psychology- Debate: Homosexuality-right or wrong? loud arguing screaming bell rings , class teacher runs outta class

Period 7..........................................ok well you get the picture

2005-10-26T02:42:00.000+04:00

TERRIBLY LAME PICK UP LINES

Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "What sign were you born under?" Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason." Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

" Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

oh come on stop rollin your eyes i KNOW you were laughin at the species and phonebook one!!! hahhahahhah lol lol

dreams

2005-10-25T19:00:00.001+04:00

Its 2014...i walk into my own apartment,(somewhere in New York lets say..heh heh) i live alone and I've just returned from a crazeee day's work....im about to get something to eat, then get on the phone with a friend, plan the party im throwin at home..arrangin the food, booze, DJ, wonderin how many ppl are gonna crash it and who's gonna clean up afterwards ( im thinkin not me heh heh), while im gettin call waiting from my mom asking if im being 'good'..um sure mom!(if ur definition of good includes booty shakin and passing out !)
And as my imagination ran waaay ahead of me and i suddenly woke up and realized hexk its still 2005 and im still in school..
I thought of all the stuff i'd do if i lived alone...write more (and not just blogs) paint more, stare outta the window and 'contemplate' lol...sing or more like screech all the friggin time, dance dance and dance in every single room,throw parties, have friends over all the time, sleep over at their place all the time, basically do wateva the hell i want..

HALLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTT!!

but for now im perfectly happy livin with my parents arguin with them orderin them to increase ma deadline...and then beggin them, complainin bout school, and just having them around , knowin i scream n fight but they know that i think they rock...so yeah for now its awsome just being a crazeh teenager...............................................!

life or something like it

2005-10-23T08:19:00.002+04:00

Wow, have'nt written something of my own in the longest time...and when does the mood suddenly strike? when im learnin for the pol sci exam! hmm... i found this book i had read about a girl who never lets anyone in and how her world changes when she finally does which kinda inspired me to write this.... and the title is from the bruce springstein song ...

SECRET GARDEN

a solid metal wall, enclosing whats inside
a solid metal wall, behind which she hides

protecting false illusions, from the emptiness outside
protecting scared dreams, from destruction by the tide

hardened gates firmly locked, reaching the stormy skies
unbreakable, unshakable by the never ending lies

saline tears, flowing with the stream
dried leaves quiver from forgotten memories

drenched in her pain, wet grass gently sways,
erasing with it footsteps, the sand drifts away

the winding path, now a bed of iron nails
lying isolated, reflects the summer rays

now the winds are changing, autumn into spring
from the rusting metal bars, hope dangles on a string

clinging to those bars, looking at the other side
wanting to look away, yet overwhelmed, hynotized

nothing to win, only comfort in whats behind,
so much to lose, if she goes across the divide

seeking salvation, a sign, a twist of fate
pleading temporary insanity, she opens up the gate

defense paper thin, as she moves slowly ahead
they wait in silence, wait for something to be said

time stands still as they stand breaths apart
trying to hold on from being swept into the dark

he reaches for her hand and throws away her key
they find the missing pieces that were lost in the debris.

quizz

2005-10-20T18:56:00.000+04:00

TAKE THE MUSIC QUIZ! (this was my result)

What does your taste in music tell people about You??

You are the kind of person to rock! Whether it be
rock 'n' roll, classic rock, or any type of
rock!
So Far: You don't care what people label
you, nor do you care what you label yourself.
You don't care what other people think; you're
independent, and be yourself through every
obstacle. You're afraid of what's ahead, but
once it happens - man, you're glad it's gone.
You never brag, nor are you ever trying to be
selfish. If you catch yourself like so, you
stop as quickly as possible.
Improvements: Keep your self-esteem high;
nothing will get better from here on end if you
stay so hard down on yourself. Let people in;
don't try to be different, and/or distant.
Unless people just don't want to be let in,
that's there problem. Keep your guard up, but
let it down when with people you trust. You
might have a hard outer crust, but you're an
extreme softy deep inside; once people tear
through the outer layer.
Just remember - keep on rocking in the free world!

What does your style of music say about you?
brought to you by www.quizilla.com

confessions of a teenage drama queen

2005-10-11T18:02:00.000+04:00

I read this on bolt...really liked it...

The life of a teenager is not normal. We face confusion about who we are, why we are here. People tell us we are not in love when we're convinced we are. And then we get our hearts broken and convince ourselves that love doesn't exist and it's some stupid pretence.
Then there's the battle of friendship and trying to fit in. Trying to be popular; one of the cool kids. We wonder how far we can push ourselves to get what we want; to get respect. We can wear the tiniest skirts and drink until we throw up. Kiss boys we think are shallow and don't really like just because we don't want to say no to them for fear of being hated.
In the end we realise we have no respect from the people that really matter and we just look like fools.
When we are told to just be ourselves, it's hard because we are no longer sure where the trying to impress ends and we begin. Then we get lost in this trail of self doubt and insecurity. We try to drown out our troubles with music and laughter, never thinking to ask an adult for fear they'll laugh or call us stupid. We damage ourselves to try and make it all better, not really thinking at the time that the scars will be constant reminders of our self-hatred. We claim to hate our parents when we know they're doing their best. We write down angry words that we may look back on and laugh...or we may not.We claim we're adults but wish so badly to be children. We don't know what is ahead and are too frightened to look behind for fear of getting lost in tangles of memory.
So we press forward telling ourselves that the sun shines through the rain. Making promises that these years and these thoughts won't last forever. We say 'I love you' too often and make too many mistakes, never sure how much we will remember. It's hard being seventeen, it's hard being lost. It hurts to hold onto these rusting metal bars of hope, still close to the bottom of the ladder of our lifes. Yet we will keep climbing and we will, one day, reach the top.

5 things

2005-10-11T17:32:00.000+04:00

5 things i wanna learn

1) tennis (i am i am its hella fun!)
2) guitar, base and electric (why does it have to be so hard though..my fingers are numb!)
3) dance (i'm learnin contemporary n funk jazz at ashley lobo's...the show is coming up yay!)
4) drums (i like everything to do with music...go figure lol)
5) sail (vast ocean, cool breeze, watching the sunset, eatin a meat roll sub...and yeah im thinkin of the episode when rachel tries to teach joey how to sail...heh heh)

5 books that i absolutely loved

1) Freakonomics by steven levitt- its Amazingg! he writes about what sumo wrestlers and school teachers have in common, why drug- dealers still live with their moms and how important are parents, really? simple brilliance in data...

2) Harry Potter- whens the next one coming????

3) Tristan betrayal by robert ludlum- Great story, loads better than bourne identity

4)Bridget jones's diary by helen fielding- read it and DIE laughing...its bloody hilarious...the war betwen sexy singletons and smug marrieds ahaha...

5) Dude where's my country by Michael Moore- Some majorly serious George W(acked out)
Bush ass whoopin! You Rock Moore...!

Questionzz

2005-10-11T16:52:00.001+04:00

and i find myself asking these questions over n over again
Do i really like the colour blue?
do i really like johnny depp?
Do i really like my school?
Do i really like my life?
Do i really like myself?
Ans: yes, yes, kinda sorta, most of da time and yes

i have no friggin clue wat da hell im goin on about...

Qqotes

2005-10-11T16:29:00.000+04:00

Here are some of me favourites..

She's riding out the twists of fate. She's had all that she can take. She says something's gotta give.

It seems like misery loves misery, My favourite songs they keep me company,memories come down to thisI may be lost but i aint hopeless

you're the song that writes a story but leaves a lot to read. The closest thing to perfect, the farthest thing from me

Suicide is man's way of telling God,"You cant fire me, i quit."

Broken Mirror, A Bleeding Fist A silver Blade Against A Wrist Tears Falling Down To Lips Unkissed Ignore Her And She Won't Exist She's Not The Kind You'll Come To Miss

"we are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream. wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams. world losers and world forsakers, for whom the pale moon gleams. yet we are movers and the shakers of the world forever it seems."

You want apologies, boy you might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever. The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips, I hope they taste of me forever. -fall out boy

Kill them, for they must die Mongers of the greatest lie Burn them, for (the) sins they scar Followers not leaders in warLeft to rot is their faith on poles Icons shatter with burning holes Curtains fall on religion's role The cancer of the soul ~Bloodbath

hmmmmm

2005-10-08T23:24:00.000+04:00

hmm,.another day, another week, another month, another year...and now im almost 17...lol...how did dat happen??? one day i wake up and im watchin timeless tales on cartoon network, playin house wid me friends...and then...here i am...tryin to learn theory of demographic transition...wonderin wat in the world im going to do with my life..if anything...which makes me think...what if i wake up tomorrow...its 2015...n im gettin ready for some 9 to forever job..complainin bout how this is so not what i wanted to do....fukkkin eh...which makes me think...what am i really doin writing this here?? ok ppl, i think ...its time to DO SUMTHIN! (perverts....uhh no not that...lol///)